How to Be Confident, Competent, Charismatic, and Authentic with Evelyne Brink.

Welcome to Public Speaking with Peter George. Do you want to be calm, confident, and credible every time you speak in public? Then stay tuned as we discuss public speaking tips, techniques, and tactics that help you increase your impact, influence, and income.

You might not be able to define it, but you certainly know it when someone has it. Confidence. Competence. That certain something. That je ne sais quoi. And most of us believe that those who have it were simply born with it. If you believe that, you'll want to hear what my guest Evelyne Brink has to say. Evelyne is a trained actress and musical performer who has written, produced, and performed one-woman shows around the globe. She was formally signed to Sony Music and is known as Europe's premier Madonna impersonator. Now a coach of more than 15 years, her clients have gained record deals, won awards, landed jobs they never imagined, and built deeply satisfying relationships. Here's my conversation with Evelyne Brink.

Is Confidence Natural or Learned?

Peter: Evelyne, do you think confidence is natural or learned?

Evelyne: Do you want the honest answer or the entertaining one? The entertaining one is: honey, you either got it or you don't. The honest answer is: confidence is a myth. It's actually a result of competence. It's a result of deep trust in yourself — something you cultivate. The more competent you become at something, the easier it is to feel confident about it. If you know how to work an audience, how to land a joke, how to recover when things go wrong — it's much easier to feel confident. The nightmare is standing on stage with no idea what you're supposed to say. Obviously, there's no confidence in that moment.

When Competence Doesn't Produce Confidence

Peter: Isn't it true that someone can be highly competent but still lack confidence?

Evelyne: Unfortunately, yes. I see it as a speaking coach — people hire me thinking they need to get better at public speaking, and when I meet them and listen to them, I say: you're perfectly fine. Yet they lack that confidence. They don't realize how good they are. Depending on the situation, I may send them to a leadership coach rather than work on their speaking at all. Other times I'll work on the speaking itself and just watch the confidence come along. Because sometimes the exposure therapy route does work — confidence grows with practice. Or there's something deeper that needs to be looked at first.

The Light Switch Principle

Evelyne: The word confidence comes from the Latin confidere — with belief. The question really is: what do you believe? And more specifically: what do you believe about yourself?

When people tell me they just need to believe in themselves more, I point them to a light switch. Do you believe in light switches? When you turn one on, do you have to believe in it for it to work — or do you just flick it? Most people flick the switch. They don't have to believe in it. It just works. And sometimes this whole believing business is overrated, because some things just are. If you're going on stage with a message that matters, that's the truth. Step into it. Let the other stuff be secondary.

Most of the time when we feel insecure on stage, we're over-involved with ourselves. It's all about my nerves, what are you thinking about me, do you like me — me, me, me. But you have a message to present. The more you connect to the truth of why you're there and who you need to be in that moment, the easier the confidence becomes. It's a byproduct of actually being you.

Charisma vs. Authenticity

Peter: What about charisma and authenticity — is one more important than the other?

Evelyne: I find charisma overrated, because it's something other people say about you. Authenticity, on the other hand, is a choice you make. And I'd rather help people with what they can actually do something about. Some people think I have enormous charisma. Others couldn't care less about me. I'm not going to build my identity on that. I'd rather help people be genuinely authentic.

The Madonna Impersonator and What Authenticity Really Means

Evelyne: Authenticity doesn't mean you only ever express one version of yourself. I was Europe's premier Madonna impersonator — people paid me a great deal of money to not be me, but to be Madonna. And yet the way I was good at being Madonna wasn't by trying to be her. It was by allowing parts of my personality to surface in a way that reminded people of her. So you want to learn about authenticity? Ask someone who knows how to be fake properly.

We all wear masks in different circumstances. You play the role of the corporate executive. You play the role of spouse. Those are both real. What matters is whether you're being true to yourself within that role. Authenticity is: is this me in the moment? Is this what I genuinely want to express right now? Versus: am I going through the motions, saying what someone else wants to hear, and denying the truth I actually feel? That distinction — not which mask you're wearing, but whether you mean what you say while wearing it — is the heart of authenticity.

Rebuilding Confidence After It's Been Knocked Down

Peter: What do you say to someone whose confidence has been beaten up — who's really been through it?

Evelyne: I know that territory well. I've had confidence knocked out of me many times — through a difficult relationship that eroded my self-view, through rejection as an actress, through people telling me I didn't have what it takes. So I love speaking to this. There are two things that help most. The first is surrounding yourself with people who can actually see you — who can see the goodness in you and reflect it back over time. When you don't have self-esteem in a particular area, you need to receive esteem from others. Go to people who actually esteem you, not ones who tear you down.

The second is a moment — and everyone eventually arrives at it — where you have a conversation with yourself and something shifts. Where you realize: these are just thoughts. And thoughts change. You're attached to the darkness right now, and you're holding it quite dearly. But when you loosen that grip, the human spirit tends to rise. Think of it as a ball you're holding underwater. The negativity holds it down. When you let go, the ball goes up quickly. And often the confirmation from the outside world follows soon after.

Confidence on Camera

Peter: What about someone who's competent in person but struggles on video or on camera?

Evelyne: This is really important for people to know: just because you're great on stage or in the boardroom does not mean you know how to translate that through a camera. A lot of people feel relief when I say that — because they've been made to feel like they should already be comfortable on video just because they've done it. But knowing how to be with people in a room and knowing how to be alive on camera are two different skills. My aim is to use the camera to become more deeply human — more expressive with your voice, your face, your presence — so that genuine connection transmits through the screen rather than getting filtered out by it.

Peter: Evelyne, where can people learn more about you?

Evelyne: Visit brinkcoaching.com. You can also find me on Instagram and LinkedIn — just look for Evelyne Brink, spelled E-V-E-L-Y-N-E. There's another Evelyn Brink without the E, so the French spelling matters. Three E's — one at the front, one in the middle, one at the end.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Public Speaking with Peter George. Are you ready to be calm, confident, and credible every time you speak in public? Then visit petergeorgepublicspeaking.com and let's make it happen. I'll see you next time.