How to Stay on Track While Delivering an Emotional Message with Tricia Roos.

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Public speaking is mentally and physically demanding — and for those who speak about topics and experiences that carry real emotional weight, the challenge is exponentially greater. How do you keep your emotions in check when the story you're telling is one of the most painful of your life? Tricia Roos has built a speaking career around doing exactly that. Author of When Wishes Change, she speaks about her daughter who died shortly after birth — and she does it with power, composure, and genuine impact. Here's the conversation.

Tricia's Story

Tricia: In 2014, I was pregnant with my second child — a girl. Right at the end of the first trimester, we learned she had trisomy 18, and the chances of survival were basically zero. We were advised to terminate the pregnancy. We decided that wasn't something we were comfortable with, and we continued on. I was heading into volleyball coaching season at the time — a usually lighthearted, optimistic stretch — and I had to carry this news and share it with my team. What happened next was remarkable: my small Catholic school volleyball team dedicated their season to my daughter. We won a state championship — our third in a row.

About a month and a half later, I gave birth at a Dallas hospital that had never had a live trisomy 18 birth. She was never supposed to make it to term, let alone be born alive — she also had a two-chamber heart. She lived six days. Our story was made into a documentary, and years later I felt called to write a book about it and then to bring the message to large audiences. The title is When Wishes Change — because the real message is about how we respond when our wishes, our expectations, our plans all shift. How do you make the best of what you're given without being paralyzed by pain?

The Challenge of Delivering an Emotional Talk

Tricia: I didn't understand how hard it would be until I was in it. I could speak in front of teams, motivate athletes, present to admissions audiences — no problem. But speaking about something so personal required something different. I almost have to remove myself from my physical self for a moment. I know the bigger picture: if I can compose myself and deliver a great message, it will have a lasting impact on the way people see the world. But if I let myself fully relive what I went through, I risk breaking down in a way that destroys the message rather than delivers it.

The Line Between Vulnerability and Breaking Down

Tricia: About two years after my daughter died, I was asked to speak at a retreat. I thought enough time had passed. I didn't prepare properly. I broke down completely and couldn't finish. There were tears around me — it was real and raw — but I let myself go entirely. That's the line: you let yourself be genuine and sincere and vulnerable, but you can't do that every time, especially when you're being paid to deliver a message. I've learned that proper preparation is protective. When you've rehearsed the key points, you're far less likely to lose the thread. You can be in the emotion and still pull yourself back.

The Physical and Emotional Toll

Tricia: I once gave three 45-minute keynotes in a single day at a large Catholic high school in Charleston. After each one, there were lines of parents and students wanting to talk. Flying home, I was on a high — I felt like I'd changed lives. Within 24 hours of returning, I completely crashed. I was emotional, sad, depleted, and confused. I didn't want to function for two or three days. The weight of the topic, the reliving of the stories — it caught up with me. Now I build in recovery time, and I'm more intentional about pacing speaking engagements. When you expect this to happen, it's far less defeating than when it catches you off guard.

Managing the Audience's Emotional Response

Tricia: When you speak about emotional topics, your audience responds emotionally — and that's its own challenge. I've watched students in the audience break down crying. One boy had to leave the room. I was already working hard to stay composed, and watching people in the audience drop like flies because they found such common ground — it takes a toll. You have to almost unsee it and continue. I wanted to stop and ask someone to check on the girl in the second row who was sobbing. You can't. You keep going, and you trust that support is available to them afterward.

Practical Tips for Staying on Track

Tricia: First, prepare — but not so rigidly that you lose your authenticity. I work from bullet points, not a script. Interestingly, after watching me give three talks in one day, the organizer noted that I had shared completely different stories each time. There's an art to structuring a talk with some freedom built in. Second, give yourself time and quiet before you speak. I pray and need solitude to focus. Third — and this I learned from coaching athletes for 20 years — use visualization. Don't just rehearse the talk. Visualize the hard moments: what do you do if you start telling a story and the emotion overtakes you? How do you find your way back? That preparation is very different from hoping it never happens.

Peter: Tricia, where can people hear your presentation and find your book?

Tricia: My website is whenwisheschange.com — under the speaking tab, I've listed engagements, some of which were recorded. The book, When Wishes Change, is available on Amazon and Kindle. It's a sad story, yes — but it's also full of inspiration about perseverance, adversity, and finding hope in something that seems hopeless. My goal was to write something that anyone could relate to, regardless of whether they've experienced anything similar.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Public Speaking with Peter George. Are you ready to be calm, confident, and credible every time you speak in public? Then visit petergeorgepublicspeaking.com and let's make it happen. I'll see you next time.