Your Nerves Are Not the Problem — What You Do With Them Is

Every presenter — novice and veteran alike — gets nervous. That is not a problem to be solved. It is a reality to be managed. The difference between speakers who thrive and speakers who struggle is not the presence or absence of anxiety. It is what they do with it.

When your brain senses stress, it signals your adrenal glands. Adrenaline floods your system. Your heart pounds. Your breathing quickens. Your mind races. This is not your body betraying you. It is your body preparing you. The trouble is that your limbic system does not understand why you are not fleeing or fighting. So it tells the adrenal glands to secrete more adrenaline. And on it goes. That cycle is what nervousness feels like. Here is how to break it.

Relabel the Feeling

Think of an activity you love that makes other people extremely nervous. Maybe you ski. Maybe you sail. Whatever it is, think about what happens to you as you are about to begin. Heart rate up. Breath quickening. Mind alert. Sound familiar? The difference is what you call it. When you are comfortable with an activity, you call the feeling excitement. When you are not, you call it nervousness. The physical response is identical. Relabel what you are feeling about your next presentation as excitement.

Reset Your Self-Talk

Listen to what most nervous presenters say to themselves. "I’m not a good public speaker." "I hope I don’t forget what I’m going to say." Notice the pattern. It is all about I, me, my, and the speaker’s performance. Replace each one with its positive equivalent. "I’m not a good public speaker" becomes "I will be a good public speaker." "I hope I don’t forget" becomes "I have prepared, and I am ready." Self-talk matters. Keep it positive.

Take the Weight Off Your Shoulders

Move the focus off yourself entirely. The moment you stop asking "what if I make a mistake?" and start asking "what does my audience need to hear today?" everything changes. You are not up there to impress people. You are up there to serve them. Consider the executive director about to present the annual budget to her board. Her nerves say: "What if I get a question I cannot answer?" Every one of those fears is about her. The moment she thinks instead about what the board needs from her, the questions that felt threatening become opportunities to serve.

Know the Difference Between Fear and Danger

When you speak in public, you are not in danger. Some of what you feel before a presentation is your brain confusing discomfort with threat. They are not the same thing. As my friend and fellow public speaking coach Frances Cahill reminds people, there has never been a death certificate issued with the cause listed as "public speaking."

Accept That Some People Will Judge You

No matter what you do in life, some people will judge you, and that is okay. There will always be critics. Try not to pay attention to them; worrying about them is not worth your time. But pay close attention to those who critique you thoughtfully, because they are the ones who will help you learn and improve.

Use the Tools Before You Walk In

Diaphragmatic breathing is a proven way to lower physical tension before you speak. Inhale through your nose. Exhale through your mouth as if you are blowing through a straw. Do not hold your breath. Many experienced speakers also use brief pre-talk rituals: a short walk, a few minutes of quiet focus, or visualization — running your opening, your audience nodding and engaged, and your conclusion in your mind in detail. Elite athletes do this before every event. So can you.

Make the Rush Work for You

Do not wish the rush would go away. Instead, acknowledge it, accept it, and make it work for you. The adrenaline that hits before you stand up is exactly what your body and mind need to perform. Stop calling it nervousness. Call it what it is — excitement — and then go give your talk.