Are you still trying to get over your nervousness or maybe even dealing with limited beliefs? Well, maybe it’s time to try Emotional Freedom Techniques, commonly known as EFT or Tapping. Listen in as my guest Lauren Fonvielle explains how tapping can help you reduce your anxiety, overcome limiting beliefs, and help you accomplish what you’re striving to do.
Takeaways
- How EFT reduces the amount of stress hormone — cortisol — and helps clear the energy meridians that move through the body
- How tapping helps acknowledge emotions for a different perspective and outcome
- The importance of acknowledging and feeling emotions rather than avoiding them to move forward in a positive way
- How EFT tapping addresses physical sensations and memories associated with past experiences to release emotions and change thinking patterns
- What sessions with a therapist look like
- Where tapping can be employed
Resources
Transcript
Peter [00:00:00]:
Are you still trying to get over your nervousness or maybe even dealing with limited beliefs? Well, then maybe it’s time to try emotional freedom techniques, commonly known as EFT or Tapping. Listen in as my guest Lauren Fonvielle explains how tapping can help you reduce your anxiety, overcome limiting beliefs, and help you accomplish what you’re striving to do. Lauren is an integrative energy practitioner specializing in EFT tapping to help entrepreneurs reduce stress and increase profits. She guides her clients on a journey of self healing to break through obstacles, whether they’re physical, mental or emotional, that keep them stuck in life and in business. Here’s my conversation with Lauren Fonvielle. Lauren, welcome to the show.
Lauren [00:00:52]:
Thank you for having me. I’m excited to be here with you today.
Peter [00:00:56]:
There are many aspiring speakers and even veteran speakers who continue to deal with fears and limiting beliefs. And to help them, we’re going to discuss how the emotional freedom technique can help them reduce their anxiety and feel calmer. So, to start, what is emotional freedom technique?
Lauren [00:01:15]:
Emotional Freedom Technique is a process that consists of gently tapping on certain points of the body while simultaneously acknowledging the emotions that you’re feeling. So when I’m introducing it to somebody that’s never heard of it before, I often compare it to acupuncture just because people are more familiar with that. So when you go to an acupuncturist, they take these tiny little needles and they put them in at certain points of your body. With tapping, what we’re doing is applying light acupressure to some of those same points. And those points that we’re tapping on are the end points of the meridians. And the meridians are how energy moves through the body. And sometimes that energy can get stuck. And I know that that can sound weird or kind of out there to some people, but there is a lot of science behind this too. There’s a lot of studies that have gone on and tapping has shown to reduce the amount of cortisol pumping through the body. And cortisol is the stress hormone. So by tapping on these points, it helps to reduce that stress hormone. So then when you feel less stressed, you feel calmer in your body, you can think more clearly. So that’s the gist of kind of how it works.
Peter [00:02:28]:
All right, before we get into the science of it, how do you get into this?
Lauren [00:02:32]:
I got into this because of my own journey with anxiety and stress and looking for a holistic way of approaching it. And for me, I started having panic attacks shortly after finding out that my husband was going to be deploying again. And I started by going to a yoga class and I went through yoga teacher training. And in that process, I was around a lot of people that were interested in energy work. And I was introduced to reiki and sound healing and also EFT. And I was very skeptical when I was first introduced to it, but then after trying it for the first time, I was hooked. I’m like, okay, this is something that’s actually making me feel better. I don’t understand why. It’s a little weird, but I kept doing it and I just continued with that and went on to get certified so I could share it with other people.
Peter [00:03:26]:
Nothing matters as long as it works, correct?
Lauren [00:03:29]:
Yeah, exactly. That’s exactly it. And that’s why I like to tell people it’s like, if you’re at a point where nothing else is really working, why not give this a try? Because there’s no negative side effects with it.
Peter [00:03:38]:
What else is behind that science? Why does this work? How can it make such a difference?
Lauren [00:03:44]:
Yeah, I think that it’s this practice of the somatic practice of actually tapping on the body combined with really acknowledging how you’re feeling. Because I think as humans, we don’t do that enough, right. When we feel uncomfortable feelings like fear, anger, frustration, overwhelm, we do not enjoy that. Right. That doesn’t bring on the warm fuzzy. So typically what we do is shove it down, right? And then we distract ourselves with something else. And I think we all know that that can work in the short term, right? You can distract yourself for a little while, but all that stuff that you’re ignoring and you’re shoving down is going to continue to build to a point where it’s going to come out. And sometimes that comes out emotionally and sometimes that comes out physically with physical pain in your body. And so this is a practice that really teaches you and helps you to hold space for your emotions and allow yourself to feel them. And I think what most people can relate to is that idea of when you feel stressed, you feel that in your body. And so by taking the time to tap on these points and talk about what you’re feeling stressed about or what you’re feeling fearful of, it really helps you to start to create some distance from it. And when you do that, you can see things a little bit differently. And when you see things differently, you begin to feel a little bit differently. And when you feel differently, then you take different action. And then of course, by taking different action, you get a different result. And that’s what most people are after, right? Feeling better, getting that different result.
Peter [00:05:23]:
Do you think a lot of us just ignore it? And I asked that as a loaded question because I was brought up as an athlete and it was always suck up the pain, suck up the nervousness, get out there and do what you need to do.
Lauren [00:05:35]:
Yeah, I mean, I think society has put that on us, right? Power through, keep going. No pain, no gain. Right? And that is just not true. We need to really acknowledge how we’re feeling. I always like to say we need to feel it to heal it. And we can spend so much energy trying to avoid feeling the feeling and running away from it. But if we allow ourselves to invite that feeling in to sit with it, we can move through it and then use that momentum to go forward in a way that really, truly feels good, instead of feeling like we’re constantly running.
Peter [00:06:14]:
From something other than stress, what other types of conditions can it help with?
Lauren [00:06:18]:
It can help with a wide variety of conditions. So it can help with limiting beliefs. It can help with weight loss. If you’re somebody that particularly is dealing with cravings, it can help to reduce those cravings. It’s been shown to help with PTSD. It’s, in fact, been approved by the VA for veterans. And there was one study that was shown that in this group of veterans, they did tapping with them once a week for six weeks, and 90% of the veterans in that group had a reduction in their PTSD symptoms, which is pretty incredible.
Peter [00:07:02]:
That’s amazing.
Lauren [00:07:02]:
Yeah. I mean, it can help with insomnia. And I know when I state all of these different things that it can help with, people are like, okay, this idea of tapping on my I can tap on myself, and it’s going to help with all of these things. And I know that that can seem almost too good to be true, but it works. That’s all I could say, is that it works.
Peter [00:07:21]:
Bring us through a typical session. What would it look like?
Lauren [00:07:24]:
The session starts off by talking about what the issue is, right? So if you, let’s say, have a fear of public speaking, we would talk about how it makes you feel. How does it make you feel in your body when you think about getting up in front of people and talking? And we could start there with the physical sensations that come to mind. Maybe you get that nervous feeling in your belly. Maybe you start to sweat, right? And when we’re tapping, the way that it works is the practitioner will say a sentence, and then the person who’s doing it will repeat that sentence. So I often say it’s kind of like Simon says, I tap in a spot. You tap in that same spot on yourself, and then you repeat the sentence after me. And so then as we move through that, we notice what other thoughts begin to come up. And a lot of the time, what happens is that memories from the past begin to arise and things that our cognitive mind is trying to make sense of, right? So maybe you have this thought of a time when you were in second grade and you had to get up and talk in front of your classmates and you were so nervous and you started stuttering or something, right? And so in your mind, you’re like, oh my goodness, that was when I was a kid. That has nothing to do with why I’m feeling this way right now. Right. But I can guarantee whatever memory starts to surface, even if there isn’t a direct correlation like that as far as like, standing in front of people, even if it’s something that you feel like is completely unrelated. More likely than not. I’ve never experienced where there isn’t some sort of connection. There there is a connection and the thought then begins to lead to something else. And so a lot of the time there are these experiences that we’ve had in the past that have emotions associated with them that we did not process sometimes because we were a child and we didn’t have the tools to be able to process sometimes because we chose not to. And so by addressing that, we are able to kind of move through that, hold space for it and let that go. And then you begin to feel a little differently in your body and think differently about your current situation.
VO [00:09:36]:
Have you heard what noted speakers and readers are saying about Peter’s book? The captivating public speaker a love letter to creating significant impact and authentic influence. If you’re looking to increase your impact through spoken word, this book is a must read. Extremely well written, engaging, fun and serious at the same time. After this episode, please use the link in the show notes to check out The Captivating Public Speaker on Amazon. Now back to Peter and his guests.
Peter [00:10:13]:
How long does it take?
Lauren [00:10:15]:
Most of my sessions are an hour long. When I work with children, they’re shorter just simply because of their attention span, but most sessions are an hour and some people will be like tapping for an hour. That seems like a really long time, but it’s really an organic unfolding that happens. And one thought really, truly does lead to the next. I recently had a client who came to me who had a fear of going on elevators. There was no specific reason why she had this fear. It wasn’t like there was ever a time where she was locked in an elevator or anything like that. But this fear had continued to get worse as she got older. And she was always able to kind of manage it. But now she’s in her fifty s and it was too much and it was preventing her from doing things that she wanted to do, like going to Manhattan and staying overnight because she couldn’t stay in a hotel and not get on an elevator. And so working through that process with her, it did lead to a lot of memories from the past which were connected with not feeling safe. And that started to portray itself when she was getting on these elevators. And so by working through these past memories that started coming up, she was able to, by the end of the time, working together, which was just two months, she had a trip planned and she was able to ride every single elevator on that trip with ease and it wasn’t a problem. I’m not going to say she loved getting on the elevator, but she did it and she didn’t have any panic attacks, so it was pretty amazing.
Peter [00:11:49]:
Do you tap on the same spot or does it vary?
Lauren [00:11:52]:
We use the same points for any type of issue that you’re dealing with. It’s just one simple protocol and so once you learn where the points are, it really is rather simple. Sometimes implementing it can be a little bit more challenging. A lot of my clients will say, I don’t really know what to say when I’m tapping on the points. But once you get a hang of that, it really is simple because you can use it anywhere, right? Like you don’t need to have anything extra besides just your fingertips. So you can use it in those situations where you start to feel the anxiety coming on in the moment. And then it can also be used proactively on a day to day basis just as part of your regular self care.
Peter [00:12:34]:
So this is something that’s really useful for a speaker who’s getting up to speak and maybe they’re backstage, or even if it’s a corporate setting and they’re sitting in a chair waiting to get up in the front of the room. Is it something they could use there where it’s not obvious that it’s taking place?
Lauren [00:12:49]:
Yeah, absolutely. So while most of the points are obvious that are part of the protocol, I always like to share some additional points, right? So even though there are certain points that are part of the protocol when tapping, just like with Acupuncture, there are points all over the body and so some of my favorites are the ones that you don’t really notice. And so the tips of the fingers at the base of the nail bed on any finger, you can either tap on the corner of the finger or if you just squeeze on both sides of any finger, it looks like you’re fidgeting. And what that is doing is sending a message to the amygdala in the brain. That part of the brain that controls Fight or Flight. And it’s telling the amygdala, hey, you’re not actually in Fight or Flight. You don’t need to be in Fight or Flight. You don’t need to be creating all of that cortisol. And it slowly reduces the amount of cortisol, and that can happen within minutes. And so then you can start to feel that calming sensation in your body. And obviously when we feel calmer in our body, we can feel calmer in our mind.
Peter [00:13:47]:
So it reacts fairly quickly then.
Lauren [00:13:50]:
Yeah, you can have a quick reaction. Yeah. That study that was done, that showed that it reduced the cortisol by up to 43% was in a group tapping session and yeah, it can happen within minutes in those situations, for sure. Yeah, it can be very helpful in that way.
Peter [00:14:11]:
So when someone goes to work with a practitioner, you someone else. How long or how many sessions does it normally take for them to get used to this and saying, I’m starting to see results?
Lauren [00:14:22]:
It depends. I mean, I have designed my program to be eight weeks long because I have found that to really be a sweet spot. But it depends on the issue that you’re dealing with. If the issue that you’re coming with is a long standing issue that goes back really far away, it may take a little bit longer for you to find the shift or create the shift that you’re looking for. And sometimes it can take less than that amount of time. But I feel like there’s never any shortage of things to tap on, that’s for sure.
Peter [00:14:52]:
Have you seen this work with speakers?
Lauren [00:14:54]:
Yes, I have. This is something. So when I first got into this, it was because of my own anxiety and stress, like just personally about being a solo parent and all of this. But at the same time, I had just left my corporate job because we had recently moved and I had started freelancing and I was working with a bunch of different clients. And when they would share with me what was going on in their business, sometimes public speaking would come up and I would say, hey, I’m doing this thing for myself. If you’re interested, I can share it with you. And I had one client that was getting ready for a talk who was feeling very nervous about it. And so I shared it with her and she started to feel calmer about it and it did help her leading up to the event and then also the day of, she was saying she tapped beforehand and also used those finger points and she did feel calmer. Yeah.
Peter [00:15:52]:
That’s a great story. You said earlier it’s not just for fear. It could be for limiting beliefs. Impostor syndrome, possibly. It helps people encourage themselves to do what either they need to do or want to do.
Lauren [00:16:05]:
Right, exactly. And so the way that Tapping works is that we acknowledge the intensity of the emotion that you’re dealing with. And so it’s different from, let’s just say saying a positive affirmation. Right. So you could say, if we’re talking about this fear of speaking, you could just go to a positive affirmation and say, I’m an amazing speaker, I’m awesome. Right? And you could say those words, but if they don’t feel true to you, there’s a real disconnect there. Right. So with Tapping, what we do is we acknowledge this fear. I’m really scared. Right? What are you really scared of? People are going to laugh at me. Whatever the fear is that you’re having in the moment and you allow yourself to really acknowledge that, hold space for it. And then as we do that, we’re organically and slowly moving to the better thought, that next thought. And eventually you can get to that point of really believing, yeah, I’m awesome, I’m going to share something amazing and these people are lucky to hear what I have to say. Right, and you could say that and really believe it, but tapping helps you to organically get there and kind of move across that scale in a way that feels true to you. So that’s a really important part of tapping, is that the words that you’re saying really resonate with you and they feel true to you. And I like to remind people of that because there’s lots of practitioners out there that create tapping videos. I create them myself because I find that it’s helpful to introduce people to it. But if you decide to try that and go that route, just know that the words that you’re saying are important. So if the words that the practitioner is saying don’t hit and they’re not resonating with you, pause that video and really try to tune into how you are feeling and put words to how you are feeling because that’s really what’s going to begin to move the needle for you.
Peter [00:17:56]:
It seems to make sense that I would have to have some belief in what I’m saying is possible.
Lauren [00:18:00]:
Right.
Peter [00:18:01]:
Not that I’m going to go from novice speaker to a top speaker just by doing tapping in one session.
Lauren [00:18:08]:
Right, exactly. It’s this process of really just acknowledging where you are and so maybe the next best thought is like, it is possible, I am going to get there. Right. And that’s a better thought than thinking, like, I’m going to fall on my face. It’s just like, okay, maybe I can do this. Right. It’s just slowly moving that needle until you really believe, like, yeah, I’m awesome, I can do this.
Peter [00:18:34]:
Where can my listeners contact you and learn more about you and the services you provide?
Lauren [00:18:40]:
Yeah. So my website is mindshiftwithlorin.com. I do have a free Masterclass on my website, so if you’re interested in learning more about the science and getting to experience tapping for yourself, I walk everybody through that in that Masterclass. You can access that by visiting Mindshiftwithlorin.com Masterclass and you can also find me on Instagram at mindshiftwithluren.com
Peter [00:19:04]:
Lauren, I’ll have that in the notes. And thank you so much for being with us.
Lauren [00:19:08]:
Thank you so much for having me. It was fun conversation.
