Distinction in Speaking: From Being Different to Being Unique with Scott McKain.

Welcome to Public Speaking with Peter George. I'm Peter George, public speaking trainer, speaker, and award-winning author of The Captivating Public Speaker. My guest today is Scott McKain, a Certified Speaking Professional, member of the Professional Speakers Hall of Fame, and bestselling author of Iconic and other popular business books. In this episode, Scott shares what it really takes to stand out — not just be different — and how speakers can achieve true distinction in their field.

Differentiation vs. Distinction

Peter: Many speakers understand they need to stand out, so they metaphorically paint stripes on themselves and say to the world, "See how I'm different." Yet they often just blend into the pack of other zebras. What are the risks they're taking when they don't stand out?

Scott: There's a significant difference between differentiation and distinction. Differentiation means you do something different in the marketplace — you paint red stripes, you do something wild on stage. But that doesn't mean it appeals to your audience. Distinction is what you do that makes you unique and has traction with the people you're trying to serve. It helps solve their problems or serve their needs.

Some speakers try to do something wild or crazy, and the audience just collectively rolls their eyes. It doesn't answer what the audience is looking for. Speakers become more distinctive by focusing on and telling unique stories, finding a way that fits their own personal style to communicate more effectively.

I was in an audience not long ago and I saw John Maxwell speak. There was a cocktail table, a stool, and an iPad. He sat down and ran his slides from the iPad. If you'd described that to me beforehand, I would have said no — you've got to be up and moving. That's my style. But it felt like a grandparent having a nice conversation in the kitchen, and for him it worked incredibly well. It was unique and distinctive, and it made us feel so engaged. I think that's part of what audiences want now — not a lecture, not even a speech, but a talk. A conversation. We want to know the speaker is in the moment and focused on us, not just delivering their canned 45 minutes.

Peter: Years ago it was oration. Then presentations, then talks. And now it's a conversation — even if the audience isn't speaking out loud, they're certainly speaking to you. When you make it a two-way conversation, even if you're the only one verbalizing, it connects.

Scott: Exactly. You have to answer the questions the audience is asking themselves.

The Power of Personal Stories

Scott: I once had the opportunity to speech coach Rich Phillips — the captain who was taken by Somali pirates. He'd hired a speechwriter, but the speech started with him already on the boat. I stopped him immediately. I said, wait — were you in the Navy? No. Then how do you become a captain if you've never been in the Navy? And he had this great story. He was a cab driver in Boston, and his biggest tip ever came from a man in a pea jacket. He asked if the man was in the Navy. He said no — he was Merchant Marines, and he was on his way to the training academy. Rich applied and got in — all because of a big tip as a cab driver.

We also developed a deeper message. Everything in Rich's training said, "Don't give up the ship." The captain never leaves. But he said, "If I didn't go with the pirates, they were going to kill my crew." That's a universal truth: there are moments when all of your previous training no longer applies to your current situation. That's something companies and audiences connect with immediately.

The challenge for most speakers is this: how do you take the story you have and make it a universal truth that every audience can gain and grow from? What captivates an audience is not only finding your story interesting — it's seeing how they can apply it to their own life and career.

I encourage speakers to write a small autobiography. Not to publish — just to go through the exercise. Think about where you grew up and what that meant. What happened in third grade? When you get specific, you find amazing stories you've been overlooking.

I grew up in Crothersville, Indiana, population 1,500. My family ran the only small-town mom-and-pop grocery store in the county. The day a new supermarket opened, we had no customers for three hours. Then a local farmer, Leland, came in. I asked him — respectfully, because I was just a kid — "All of our friends are shopping at the new supermarket. Why did you come here?" And he said, "Because you guys like me." That story shaped my entire philosophy about customers. I realized I never would have connected that moment to a speech theme if I hadn't gone through that reflective process — and nobody else can tell that story but me.

Peter: That's exactly the point. The starfish story, the puppies for sale story — by the time you hear the same story from three different speakers, it loses all impact. People connect with you and your story. That's what makes you captivating.

Practice and Coaching

Scott: Speaking is a lot like mastering a musical instrument. Some people have more natural talent, but it doesn't matter how much talent you have — you still have to learn how to play the piano or strum the guitar. You have to practice. Books like Peter's and coaching like he provides shorten the curve. They help you eliminate unforced errors, like a tennis coach — they don't make you a pro overnight, but they help you get better, faster.

Before I jumped on this call, I was standing in my office practicing a program I'm delivering here in Las Vegas tomorrow — for a company I've worked with before, but they've asked me to do something a little different. I'll do it ten more times before I go to the hotel tonight, and five more tomorrow morning. That'll be about 25 times I've given that one speech.

Peter: I'm sure there's been a time or two where you said, "I should have done it 26."

Scott: Isn't that the truth. There are always three speeches: the one you intend to give, the one you give, and the one where you sit down and go, "I should have done this." For every speech, there are always three of them.

Peter: You don't see Aaron Judge saying, "I went 4 for 4 with six RBIs — I don't have to take batting practice for a while."

Scott: Or "I don't need a hitting coach." I love that analogy. Tom Brady had six coaches on the field and many more off it, and he was out there every day practicing — arguably the greatest ever to play that position. The audience sees the result of that discipline, not the work that created it.

Placing Accurate Fault

Scott: My mentor Grady Nutt said there are three reasons a speech doesn't go the way it should. First, it might be the situation's fault — if the sound system breaks, people in the back can't hear. Second, it might be the audience's fault — if they're drunk, you can't sober them up. Third, it's your fault. You didn't practice enough.

He said real maturity as a speaker is placing accurate fault. Don't make yourself a martyr when the sound system blows up. But also be willing to say, "I should have worked harder on that material. I should have practiced more." He told me that once when I was beating myself up because two people out of 100 gave me poor evaluations. He said, "Who are you to assume they know more than the other 98? What if they had a bad day before they walked in?" You have to be open enough to take sincere, precise critique to heart — but you can't destroy yourself because somebody in the audience was already having a rough day before you took the stage.

Speakers Who Stand Out

Peter: Who are some of the speakers you've seen successfully achieve distinction?

Scott: Grady Nutt, my mentor — not many people remember him, but he had an incredible style. He told stories about growing up that you instantly related to, even if you didn't share his background. Tony Robbins — I saw him give one of the best 60-minute speeches I've ever seen at an NSA convention. Just the sheer force of his personality and how he engaged a thousand people was extraordinary. Phil Jones, who wrote Exactly What to Say, takes a topic that doesn't sound thrilling — word choice — and makes it riveting. Jay Baer is another. And Laura Gassner Otting. I'm excited about the future of this business because there are so many younger speakers who get it.

Peter: You mentioned Jay Baer. He talked on this show about his plaid suits. My first thought was, okay, that's just being different — but then he explained the whole process. The audience selects the suit. He comes out on stage, they see it, they're already engaged. He took something that seems odd on the surface and made it meaningful.

Scott: Exactly. Jay wrote a terrific book called Talk Triggers — a talk trigger is something you do that gets people talking about you in a positive way and extends your brand. We want audiences to go home saying, "I've been telling everybody about his story about Taxi Terry" — not just "good speech." That's what leads to repeat business. Between 65 and 70% of my speeches this year are for companies I've spoken for before. I'm grateful for it, but I also know there's a reason it happens: I told stories that people continue to talk about.

Write From the Heart, Speak From Your Skill

Scott: My initial speech coach, Ron Arden — a British Shakespearean actor from San Diego — asked me how I would describe my speaking. I said, "I speak from the heart." He rolled his eyes and said, "Oh, God, not another one." He said, "What if you woke up this morning and your dog is under the weather and you have to rush from the vet to give your speech? You're going to speak from the heart? You're going to inflict that on the audience? The audience is not your therapist." Then he said: "You write from the heart and you speak from your skill."

Those words changed not only my speaking — they changed my life. My responsibility to the audience is to write what I sincerely believe and create what I feel can be of value, and then use the skill from my practice, coaching, and work to deliver that material with as much excellence and professionalism as I can from the platform.

Final Advice for Speakers

Peter: What last words of advice do you have for my listeners?

Scott: Tell your story. Mine the depths of your own experience. If something made you want to become a speaker — or if something about your area of expertise moves people to want to hear what you have to say — then there's something in your life and your experience that people can benefit from hearing. Don't waste it giving a book report on what someone else has written or a potpourri of quotes. Tell your story. Analyze your experience, craft it into a compelling narrative, and then practice it relentlessly until you get it right.

And remember this: speaking improves every facet of your life. It's not just about standing on stage. When you communicate more effectively, you lead your teams better. You improve your personal relationships. You increase your impact in every area of your existence. Speaking is one of those skills that, when developed, changes everything.

Peter: When you can communicate more effectively, it changes your life — because you can change other people's lives.

Scott: Absolutely right.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Public Speaking with Peter George. To connect with Scott McKain, visit scottmckain.com — McKain is spelled M-c-K-a-i-n — and find him on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Twitter. Are you ready to be calm, confident, and credible every time you speak in public? Then visit petergeorgepublicspeaking.com and let's make it happen. I'll see you next time.